Volume 1, Issue 4: CF Cavalry Journal

[tbw]

Over the years I have been impressed with the vast wealth of information on the internet. It most certainly has provided forums like this where one can come to speak their thoughts, ideas and express their opinions. And I think everyone would agree, that is a good thing.

Some time back I had the opportunity to view the movie ’Saving Private Ryan’ for the first time. I was immediately and profoundly moved by George C. Marshall’s statement in the move about Abraham Lincoln’s consoling words to a “Mrs. Bixby in Boston”. Here from the movie was those words Lincoln spoke:

Gen. George C. Marshall: I have here a very old letter, written to a Mrs. Bixby in Boston.

"Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln."

What moved me was not just he eloquence with which Lincoln spoke those words, but the content of it. This movie came out at a time when Iraq was still very much in question. And we had a President at the time who was continually inferring that we should “honor” them for their service. The meaning of the word ’honor’ was somewhat disturbing to hear from him at the time, and for me still is. The word honor can mean: integrity, decency, righteousness, principle, uprightness, scrupulousness, rectitude, morality, character, respect, admiration, esteem, regard, reverence, devotion, dignity, distinction, nobility, pride, decorum, graciousness, reputation, image, good name, name, renown, repute, distinction, award, tribute, credit, accolade, compliment, commendation, commemoration, remembrance, medal, badge, certificate, medallion, degree, blue ribbon, gold medal, privilege, occasion, opportunity, milestone, high-water mark, peak.

But what President Bush at the time was saying is what most people don’t recognize. It wasn’t so much that he wanted to convey any one or more of the above to the waning support of the American pubic. But more what he didn’t want them to believe, the opposite of what that word ‘honor’ stood for: Disgrace, blot, scorn, baseness. These four words sum up exactly what he was trying to convey about our troops. And the word ’honor’ was chosen because it best represented in a positive form those words without expressing them and rousing patriotic support for our troops.

While one can debate whether or not his choice of ‘word’ was correct or not. What remains after, has done much harm in determining the truth about what came before. Compare Lincoln’s ’patriotic’ letter to Mrs. Bixby. Not one word was mentioned in that letter about ’honor’, not one. Yet had Lincoln chosen to do so, we today would not have considered it wrong to have mentioned that word ’honor’. The closest Lincoln came to that word was: ’thanks’ & ’pride’. ’Thanks’ needs no definition, it means gratitude and appreciation as everyone knows. The word ’pride’ can mean: arrogance, conceit, smugness, self-importance, egotism, vanity, immodesty, superiority, self-respect, dignity, self-esteem, honor, satisfaction, pleasure, delight, gratification, enjoyment, joy, happiness, self-satisfaction.

Lincoln’s choice of word in this instance is I think revealing. Both honor and pride mean : dignity. Of all the rest the words chosen, this one best exemplifies the meaning of those words. Honor can mean ’esteem’, but ’pride’ means ’self-esteem’. Only ’pride’ exemplifies pleasure, delight, gratification, enjoyment, joy, happiness or self-satisfaction. And what better choice of word could there have been than to choose a word that didn’t mean disgrace, blot, scorn or baseness by its very use? What better word to choose than ’pride’ for it also to can mean ’honor’. When left to an eager American public to choose one of the myriad explanations for each word ’honor’ could mean, and so much more than what it was actually meant to convey. We choose patriotically to ignore all that ’pride’ engenders and accept in ignorance that which ’honor’ was not supposed to have conveyed. And all one has to do is ask oneself; are we today ’thankful’ and ’proud’ of the efforts our service men and women? And were we ’proud’ and ’thankful’ for any past service men or women that have in the past, served this country? And if we are, should this not be the proper ’honor’ to be bestowed upon them and no other.

At the end of the movie, “Saving Private Ryan” was Private Ryan’s own expression no less poignant than what ‘pride’ and ‘thankfulness’ so dearly engender:

Old James Ryan: (addressing Capt. Miller at his white cross marker and grave in France)
“My family is with me today. They wanted to come with me. To be honest with you, I wasn't sure how I'd feel coming back here. Every day I think about what you said to me that day on the bridge. I tried to live my life the best that I could. I hope that was enough. I hope that, at least in your eyes, I've earned what all of you have done for me.”

One could I suppose leave it right here, but the movie nor the realism of “thankfulness nor ’pride’ ever stops with that.

Ryan’s wife: (walks up behind James and looks at him and then at the headstone) “James?..” Then she say’s “Captain John H. Miller.”
.
James Ryan: (then stands and say’s)
“Tell me I have led a good life.” [self-esteem]

Ryan’s wife: “What?” (as if, what on earth do you mean.)

James Ryan: “Tell me I'm a good man.” [self-esteem]

Ryan's Wife: “You are.”

James Ryan: {stands back, turns around and salutes the grave of Captain John Miller). [self-satisfaction]

(Then they both walk away)

In his own way throughout this scene James Ryan was expressing his ‘thanks’ and his ‘pride’ (self-esteem) and only at the very end, after his ’dignity’ was restored by his wife’s words (self-satisfaction), did he choose bestow that ’thankfulness’ and ’pride’ with ’dignity’ to ‘honor’ Captain Miller with a salute.

So much can be missed by what I said. Perhaps its more than what some can understand. But the true meaning of those words are there for all to see and ponder. And perhaps can best be found, felt and expressed in their own feelings as they watch “Saving Private Ryan” again.

[joewiggs]

Your post is a poignant reminder of the true meaning of life. It touches upon the spiritual building blocks that create the essence of what "we" are;Children of God. Without the process of knowledge gathering and experiences that culminate in the recognition of self-esteem, dignity, and brotherly love we fail to understand the purpose of our sojourn on earth;sacrifice. Even in the violent theater of war, enemy against enemy, the sacrifice of self for the preservation of another is the ultimate sacrifice. When you give up your transitory "life" to save the "life" of another you have achieved heaven.

The words of Lincoln and the actions of Capt. Miller resonate with this philosophy of "Man's Humanity to man."

[tbw]

Page 2:

What Joe says is true. But I had to search my feelings for a very long time to understand why I felt the way I did about President Bush using that word ‘honor’. I didn’t want to state what I have to state now in the original work above. It stands alone, and what Joe said is true. And there are perhaps others that could tell one their views about it to, and if they request, I’m quite sure that censorship is NOT alive and well here. But my view wasn’t mine to begin with. It was earned, and not the way some would think.

As I had mentioned before. My father was a WWII vet, and yes I could relate a few stories he told me about the war, and perhaps one day I will. But my father and the other vets of WWII that I knew, and still do know from my dads outfit, would probably agree with him. My father didn’t like to discuss anything about the war with me. And as a young man and the movie Patton being released, it just made me more determined to find out certain things from him. At one point during Patton, I looked over and he had tears in his eyes. You had to know my father, but he never in his life ever displayed this kind of emotion, before that time, or after. It was war, a film and a movie that he didn’t want to see again. And the only reason he did was because it was showing in a city about 85 miles from our home and he wanted to go to the city, not necessarily the movie. The part where he had tears was when they ran out of gas and they had to battle hand to hand, that was the inference anyway, and I don’t exactly remember all of it anymore.

I questioned my dad about his role. And had these arguments with him about why he should tell me the things I wanted to know. I’ll never forget it, the longest day I live. I told him one day during an argument over him telling me… and I wont say what it was, use your imagination… That he was a ‘hero’ - my ‘hero’. And I really meant it. It was my way of showing him I was proud of him and that I wanted to express my gratitude for all that he did. It was the only time during my conversations with him that he ever turned on me with rage in his eyes, the only time. And he blurted out, “I’m no hero!” I knew better than to cross him on this one, he meant it, and I knew he meant it. The only thing I couldn’t figure out, was why?

I let the matter rest for months. And finally ended up going back to him to approach him as to why he had said what he did. He said, “If you don’t know, then you don’t need to ask.” I should have known, right then and there, but like the foolish young man that I was, I didn’t honestly know.

I think everyone can appreciate the ‘feelings’ in this story enough to put together why my father said, “If you don’t know, then you don’t need to ask.” And in fact if you can’t, then don’t ask. Haunting words for someone as bold as I was, back then. And naively foolish as well. Naïve enough to pursue it further.

The morals of this story are easy enough for anyone with half a brain to figure out. My father, and others like him who served this country in those battles didn’t want us to worship them or bestow the ’honor’ on them as ’heroes’. All they, the ’people’ like him, who did serve, all they ever wanted was to be left alone in their thoughts of what they didn’t want to think about. All they needed from us was our gratitude and our pride in them for what they were ordered to do… what they had to do to survive. Indeed, they were Not Heroes. And in everlasting memory of my father, I truly can believe that.

There were men, who served our country, who were not bestowed the simple honors of “gratitude” and “pride.” They fought an unwanted war, for an indeterminate purpose, in a country most felt was not worthy of our expenditure of life. They came home to no ticker tape parades, no celebrations of massive demonstration that ever made them feel that what they had been ordered to do… what they had to do to survive, made anyone proud or even mere gratitude worthy of their efforts. These men still to this day seek this “gratitude”, this “pride” and do want more than what others, like my father ever desired. I for one will not say to them, ever, that you do not deserve our “pride” and “gratitude,” for you do, each and every one of you do. But I refuse to bestow upon you the broad aspects that “honor” and “heroism” implies.

Many of these vets come to forums like this seeking more than I am willing to give them. Many seek “honors” that are not ours to give. And many seek more than we ever should give. To say that you served in WWII and are seeking that same “honor”, is false, and wrong, and I know it, and now so do you. I still know men from my fathers outfit and converse with them, though their numbers are dwindling and almost non-existent now. And I pointed them to a ’special forum’ where such ’boasting’ is made. And they all tell me the same thing. “Those men, if they were in combat, in WWII are lying! They were not in the same war I was." ~ “If you don’t know, then you don’t need to ask.”

[caltexian]

Great post, Dennis. Regarding the WWII vets as being heroes or them not thinking of themselves as heroes, I think the most touching and poignant line from Dick Winters, or one of the guys from "Band of Brothers," was that they weren't the heroes; it's the guys who didn't come back who were the real heroes.
For my two cents, anyone who ever had to fight in a war for our country are heroes, regardless of the dangerousness of their efforts, because they were out there, away from family and friends, and doing their part, and regardless of the purpose of the war. I salute your dad and all those he fought beside.

[Cutter]

My Pop was the same in talking about the war, he didn't. I also was a good friend of one of the navigators of Doolittle's raid. Both said, if you weren't there, you don't know. Same with Custer's fight. We are only putting together things that in reality we can only imagine.""

[tbw]

Page 3:

Cavalry Wives:

In carving out a place for themselves as Cavalry Wives, women brought with them the contented & pleasing qualities of life while living on the American frontier. It was an every day delicate balancing act of their own desires and their husbands in a harsh and unforgiving environment. Most of them would pursue friendly relationships because in such an environment, by its very nature, they were limited by what they could gain materialistically and there dependence upon one another didn’t foster individuality. Along with parenting, many of them hunted and fished, and of course rode the surrounding countryside near the post. And some even availed themselves at times to participate in military affairs. One of many examples was the junior officers wives that the seniors wife would have to entertain. In this case with military assignment came the desirability to consult one’s wife before making a choice, otherwise the new selected officer’s wife may not be acceptable to his wife and things could turn unpleasant if the junior officer’s wife he selected was undesirable to her.

Like any military endeavor, it was of course an ever on-going struggle to create and preserve social relationships with those who were stationed to the post. They shared in the difficulties and the sufferings of the others in an uncompromising environment with the lack of life’s more basic necessities and together they faced constant danger each and every day. It was that very real state of shared loneliness, with so few of them, in that desolate & untamed country, far from anything civilized that it is little wonder, they created an atmosphere that embraced the Cavalry as an extended and fascinating family. And this was ever more so true when they had to rely on one another for friendship in their extended stay for as long as their husbands were assigned to the post.

When their husbands were on patrol or out on a campaign somewhere, the women would always have an escort for social occasion or function. And it was not uncommon for a woman to ride out from the post on horseback escorted by someone other than her husband, especially when her husband’s obligations left her alone. The women who learned to ride and shoot to hunt were a special delight to the officers, who offered them special status in Cavalry circles. One such woman was Katie Gibson whom Tom and George Custer took hunting one day. She remarked,”…when I shot a bird from a branch, Tom forgot his manner and almost knocked me off my mount, slapping me on the back and ejaculating, ’Golly, what a shot!” (Fougera, p. 95)

Anything within reason to break the dull routine of Cavalry life was expected and accepted. The women sought comfort in many ways. One of them was in expressing in their correspondence, the hope that one day their unmarried friends or relatives would come to visit them. The best of intentions was of course the social interaction or perhaps to help with the household chores or with the children. And many of them however did venture to the post in hopes of finding a suitable husband. These new single women made post social life more brighter and cheerful needless to say.

Gossip was an unexpected delight and was welcomed when someone new was assigned to the post or had arrived upon invitation. One can imagine the delightful expression and compliment over fashions and styles. Amazingly it was through gossip that the ethical values of each post were created. The reason for this was because whether it was educational, mild or harsh, it was the one thing they all shared in common, and it served to sustain their values of behavior and choices of fashion.

Gossip was a cherished diversion and was entertained by both genders. And there was sufficient information, rumor and scandal to go around for all. Leading the list were intoxicated officers, affairs, wayward servants & wife-husband fights not necessarily in that order.

The enlisted men’s wives were usually not so in lofty a position as the officers wives. They usually did the mundane tasks like washing the company clothes to which her husband belonged, did kitchen chores and for entertainment attended the enlisted men‘s dances. Every once in a while, one of the enlisted men would advance in rank to become an officer. But this didn’t mean that his wife’s status had changed to. Wives of the officers who obtained their rank in the Civil War or at West Point, assumed his wife deprived of ’proper education’, ’proper manners’ or even ill bred. Which they felt these new officers wives were - unqualified and unsuspecting of the responsibilities of an officers wife, let alone the social relationships that come with the territory. But even if these women were lucky enough to climb the social ladder, they still were reminded of their place by those whose wives didn’t have to wash the company’s clothes to get to where they were. These estimates of value among the women was an ever on going activity, and often times it found its solution in a quarrel, especially if they were in confined living conditions, which during certain seasons, or if traveling couldn’t be helped. And of course post housing & living arrangements at the post didn’t always help.

Many of the officers quarters on the frontier posts were constructed in duplex fashion. These duplexes it seems caused more of these clashes than one would suppose, because they brought the two families into more intimate exchange than was on occasion satisfying. Oftentimes there would be overheard a humorous, preposterous, absurd or silly situation in a stressed moment. And each family knew the other family’s faults and shortcomings with amazing clarity, sometimes down to the most intimate detail.

Because they depended upon one another, and shared a duplex living quarters, the officers wives often times made thorough appraisal of other women at the post. This usually had to do with dress, style, whether friendly or not, and mannerisms.

Children:

Giving birth to a child, by its very nature, could happen at any time, and if lucky she would have it at the post. Some however did give birth while the soldiers were in transit and had to give birth in transient tents or quarters. Perhaps it was just a feeling of mores the better, because very few relied upon the post doctor with the birth of their child, feeling he had insufficient experience or skills in childbirth. Most of them relied upon midwives - other friends, relatives or perhaps even a laundress at the post the help them through their birthing experience.

For education, the posts sometimes had schools, if they didn’t, the young women who had come looking for a husband helped educate as governesses with the young children. Oftentimes a mother was torn between their responsibility as a mother for their children’s educational needs and what was deemed proper for an officers wife.

Unlike all other things at the post, rank among the children was non-existent, they all played with one another, even at times with the friendly Indian scouts children. Quite naturally, if hostiles were thought to be nearby, the children were not allowed to leave the post.

Conclusion:

Rank had its privileges, and this was just as true for the women as it was with the men. And as we’ve witnessed the laundresses, they were just not a part of the officers’ wives social group. And even within their own group, the officer’s wives of higher rank also redeemed such status for themselves among the women. Such high status required of her abilities a duty to host visiting dignitaries and officers or to accept social invitations when required. Some took on the obligation to provide housing to newly arrived officers or to keep an eye on ’other’ social arrangements. But this could all disappear in the twinkling of an eye when trouble loomed over the garrison. In those times they all came together to help one another like the extended Cavalry family they knew they were all a part of. And it didn’t matter about the gossip or whether another wife’s husband was an inebriated sot most of the time, or whether the woman was just a laundress. The bonds they had made drew them close together in times of peril. However superficial their daily lives had been, each woman voluntarily, of her own free compassionate will, offered physical comfort and spiritual consolation to anyone at the post, no matter what their status was prior to the peril they were in. Yet these women had no homes. They owned no property there, nor did they have any place nor status in the U.S. Cavalry as far as the government was concerned. If their husbands were killed or died, they were homeless, and many times left the post destitute in poverty. Three weeks after the battle of the Little Big Horn, Elizabeth Custer and 26 other women who had been widowed by the battle, were required to leave Fort Lincoln. It seems almost harsh by today’s standards, but that’s the way they did it. And it should never be compared to anything modern, lest we forget these women’s sacrifices, and those who sacrificed for it. And if there is one thing we can take from their fine example is this last thought. Friends were at times, not easy to find or keep, but when these women required help or support of any kind, there were other men and women there to ask, who appreciated and recognized, that giving in return, in a time of need, was what they all relied upon to get them through the worst of times.


Redacted from source:
plainshumanities.unl.edu/projects/army_officers_wives/family_life/

[joewiggs]

The difficulties our ancestors faced, on a daily basis, were absolutely horrific. Still they persevered. When I think of todays society where children are enmeshed in a world of blood thirsty video's, twittering, texing, and parents that feel that "little Jimmy" should not be singled out because of his grades; I wonder to myself, where do we go from here?