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humor
Aug 6, 2011 15:14:44 GMT -5
Post by whitebull on Aug 6, 2011 15:14:44 GMT -5
Who writes your material? You sure come up with some good stuff ;D
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humor
Aug 19, 2011 11:59:47 GMT -5
Post by Cutter on Aug 19, 2011 11:59:47 GMT -5
The thunder god went for a ride on his favorite filly.
"I'm Thor!" he cried.
The horse answered, "You forgot the thaddle, thilly."
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humor
Aug 19, 2011 19:51:26 GMT -5
Post by joewiggs on Aug 19, 2011 19:51:26 GMT -5
Please never stop. I can not tell you how many times your jokes have made me laugh hysterically even when I don't feel like laughing! Great job Cutter!!! ;D
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humor
Aug 21, 2011 20:14:13 GMT -5
Post by strange on Aug 21, 2011 20:14:13 GMT -5
A boy brings his new girlfriend home to his father, the father is impressed with his son landing a cute girl and gives the boy $150 to wish him luck on his date.
The next night the pair shows up again and the father gives the boy another $150 to wish them luck on their date.
The boy comes home the third night with a different girl who is prettier than the first and the father asks what happened.
The son replies "I bought a better one."
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humor
Aug 26, 2011 13:56:43 GMT -5
Post by Cutter on Aug 26, 2011 13:56:43 GMT -5
A horse showed up at a ballpark. He headed for the manager and said much to the manager's surprise, "I'd like to try out for the team."
The manager eventually recovered from hearing a horse talk and said, "Ready? Let me see you catch a few."
The horse walked to 3rd base and caught every ball hit to him. The manager asked him to throw. The horse whisked the ball toward the first baseman with amazing accuracy and speed. Picking up a a heavy bat a few minutes later, the horse proceeded to hit ball after ball over the centerfield fence. The manager said, "Not bad at all. Now let me see your run."
The horse said, "If I could run, I'd be in the Kentucky Derby!"
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humor
Aug 26, 2011 14:57:19 GMT -5
Post by joewiggs on Aug 26, 2011 14:57:19 GMT -5
Both of you did a bang up job! ;D This is some good stuff! ;D ;D ;D  * *3 1/2 stars.... |
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humor
Aug 29, 2011 17:30:10 GMT -5
Post by Cutter on Aug 29, 2011 17:30:10 GMT -5
Not exactly equus in nature, but still pretty good.
A man lives on a farm, he writes to his son in prison - I can't grow potatoes this year. I'm too old to be digging up the field. Soon he gets a letter back from his son. - You can't dig in the field, that's where I buried the bodies! The next morning, people came from the police. They dug up the entire field but found nothing. Soon the farmer gets another letter from his son. - Now Dad, you can grow potatoes. It was the best I could do from here.
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humor
Sept 5, 2011 11:29:24 GMT -5
Post by joewiggs on Sept 5, 2011 11:29:24 GMT -5
Not exactly equus in nature, but still pretty good. A man lives on a farm, he writes to his son in prison - I can't grow potatoes this year. I'm too old to be digging up the field. Soon he gets a letter back from his son. - You can't dig in the field, that's where I buried the bodies! The next morning, people came from the police. They dug up the entire field but found nothing. Soon the farmer gets another letter from his son. - Now Dad, you can grow potatoes. It was the best I could do from here. Yea!, but what is the son going to come up with the following year!  |
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humor
Oct 8, 2011 10:17:02 GMT -5
Post by Cutter on Oct 8, 2011 10:17:02 GMT -5
A man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge black frying pan. Boing!
Man: "What was that for?!"
Wife: "What was that piece of paper in your pant's pocket with the name Marylou written on it?!"
Man: "Oh honey. Don't you remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on."
The wife seemed satisfied and headed on to do some work around the house, feeling a bit sheepish.
Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting. Boing!!
Man: "What's that for this time?"
Wife: "Your horse called!"
Have had a devil of a time getting logged on here, seems that if I get on via FaceBook it works.
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humor
Oct 8, 2011 14:48:10 GMT -5
Post by joewiggs on Oct 8, 2011 14:48:10 GMT -5
The King of Mirth continues to rule! ;D I love it. I've had my "horse" call a time or too as well!  |
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humor
Oct 13, 2011 15:25:24 GMT -5
Post by Cutter on Oct 13, 2011 15:25:24 GMT -5
THE BRONZE RAT
A Cheyenne guy went to Chinatown in San Francisco. While there he found a bronze rat at a thrift store. "How much do you want for the rat" he asked. "$3 for the rat and $1000 for the story that goes with it" said the shopkeeper. "Just give me the rat," the Cheyenne said, and then he left with it. As he walked down the street he noticed a couple of rats following him. As he walked further, more and more rats started chasing him. By the time he got to the bay, there were thousands of rats chasing him. So he climbed up a pole and threw the bronze rat into the water. To his amazement, all the rats jumped into the water.
The Cheyenne then returned to the thrift store. "Ahh" the china man said. "Now you would like to hear the story?"
"No" said the Cheyenne, "I just came back to see if you had any bronze white men!"
Happy Birthday Iceman. ;D
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humor
Oct 14, 2011 19:12:50 GMT -5
Post by joewiggs on Oct 14, 2011 19:12:50 GMT -5
THE BRONZE RAT A Cheyenne guy went to Chinatown in San Francisco. While there he found a bronze rat at a thrift store. "How much do you want for the rat" he asked. "$3 for the rat and $1000 for the story that goes with it" said the shopkeeper. "Just give me the rat," the Cheyenne said, and then he left with it. As he walked down the street he noticed a couple of rats following him. As he walked further, more and more rats started chasing him. By the time he got to the bay, there were thousands of rats chasing him. So he climbed up a pole and threw the bronze rat into the water. To his amazement, all the rats jumped into the water. The Cheyenne then returned to the thrift store. "Ahh" the china man said. "Now you would like to hear the story?" "No" said the Cheyenne, "I just came back to see if you had any bronze white men!" Happy Birthday Iceman. ;D Can you imagine, just one bronze white man and the whole shebang with Custer would have never happened! I said it before and i repeat myself, Cutter you the Man!  |
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humor
Nov 6, 2011 1:11:18 GMT -5
Post by Cutter on Nov 6, 2011 1:11:18 GMT -5
A Georgia farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions
left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest
one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of
dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the
matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or
nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or
two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched
up his mule and drove home.
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humor
Nov 6, 2011 9:47:06 GMT -5
Post by joewiggs on Nov 6, 2011 9:47:06 GMT -5
The uncle was as wise as King Solomon ;D!
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humor
Nov 8, 2011 1:44:30 GMT -5
Post by Cutter on Nov 8, 2011 1:44:30 GMT -5
Plain Old Horse Sense
Tying your horse's reins to a post does no good if you then remove the bridle.
When throwing your saddle over your horse's back, do not let go. See Law of Inertia: a body in motion tends to remain in motion.
Forgetting to tighten the girth before swinging into the saddle gives you a whole new perspective of your horse.
Before using a crop to encourage your horse to move, be sure it is facing the direcftion you wish to go.
On a five mile long road with a single mud puddle in it, your horse will shy when you are most likely to fall in the puddle. Same for a single cactus in the desert.
It is a mistake to believe horses have no sense of humor. They think we are funny.
A neophyte rider need waste no time being concerned for his horse's welfare. Your horse knows all about being a horse. Concentrate on your own well being.
Horses smell FEAR. Deodorant won't help.
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