humor

[joewiggs]

I said it before and I'll say it again:




CUTTER IS A GENIUS!!!


I've been looking for such a clean version for over a hundred years! ;D

[stumblingbear]

Cutter is a very witty gentleman! Please keep up the good work!

[stumblingbear]

Wonderful Cutter! ;D

[Cutter]

A car drives up to a farmer's house, a man gets out, knocks on the door, and the
farmer opens it. "A friend told me you have a mule that points quail", said the stranger,
"is that true"?? "Sure is", said the farmer, "would you like to see him work?" The
strangers said, "Sure". Soon they were walking through a field, when the mule
suddenly stopped and struck a beautiful point. The farmer walks ahead of the mule
and scares up a big covey of quail. This goes on a half dozen more times...the mule
points...the farmer scares up the covey. Finally, the stranger says, "That's enough, I've
got to have that mule". "He ain't for sale", said the farmer. I'll give you $50,000.00 for
him", said the stranger. Well, the farmer couldn't refuse such a big offer, so he sold
him. The next night, the farmer's phone rang...it was the stranger. "What the heck's
wrong with this darned mule you sold me?", he screamed..."all he's done all day is
stand belly deep in my pond"!! "Well", said the farmer, "I guess I should'a told
you......he'd rather fish than hunt."

[Cutter]

Talking Animals

A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Old Friend sitting on his porch. He figures he'll have a little fun... Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?" Old Friend: "Dog no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doin' alright." Old Friend: extreme look of shock

Cowboy: " Is this man your owner?" pointing at Old Friend. Dog: "Yep"

Cowboy: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Old Friend: look of disbelief.

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Old Friend: "Horse no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool." Old Friend: extreme look of shock

Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at Old Friend. Horse: "Yep"

Cowboy: "How's he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Old Friend: total look of amazement

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Old Friend: "Sheep Lie."

[stumblingbear]

Sept 24, 2010 11:14:09 GMT -5 Cutter said:

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemosabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell you, Tonto?"
“You dumber than buffalo chip. Someone stole the tent."

I thought I was going to die laughing! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D